Extra•Ordinary ~ Soft Work, Strong Roots
The invisible labor that holds the world together and why it's time we start valuing it.
I’ve been chewing on the idea of value versus worth for a while now. It feels sticky. Rooted in systems I didn’t consent to but still find myself tangled in.
After sitting with it, turning it over in my mind and heart, I’ve come to one clear place to begin: boundaries. The kind that protect the quiet truth of who I am from the noise of what others think I should be.
So, I’ve started setting clearer standards around how I offer my time, energy, skills, and gifts. And here’s where the distinction becomes important: Worth is intrinsic. It’s immeasurable. Unchangeable. Yours to name, and yours alone. Value, on the other hand, is external. It fluctuates. It’s assigned. It moves with the market, with perception, with narrative, with scarcity and demand.
You can be priceless in your worth, and still be unseen. You can be whole, and still be undervalued. You can be enough, and still be treated like a commodity. That’s not your failing. It’s the failure of the system.
We’re living in a culture that hangs our worth out to dry, stringing it up on the laundry line of output and performance. More is more. Keep moving. Keep proving. Do more to be more. Hustle to earn the right to rest. Hustle to earn the right to be seen. Hustle to afford to consume what you’ve been sold as the solution.
It’s a vicious cycle: exhaustion as proof of dedication, productivity as proof of purpose. And it’s all driven by a hit of dopamine disguised as accomplishment.
We’ve been taught that hard skills, the things we can measure, monetize, and scale, are what deserve compensation. Mental and physical mastery has a price tag. Emotional, spiritual, and creative labor? That’s just… nice. Bonus. Optional. Free.
What’s often overlooked or dismissed is the foundation. It’s the soft skills that hold the world together. The unseen work that weaves the tapestry of people together. This tapestry soothes grief, builds bridges, cultivates beauty, and holds space when systems fall apart.
And when these things are devalued… when we assume they cost nothing… they end up being treated like a disposable commodity. This is how we end up here: greedy systems, burned-out souls, disconnected communities. A crisis of meaning dressed up in productivity metrics. A societal meltdown. A deep, collective sadness.
This is where it gets twisted for me, where it cuts close to the bone. Because I’ve spent a lifetime equating my goodness, my niceness, with my willingness to give myself away. If I’m kind enough, generous enough, self-sacrificing enough, maybe I’ll earn safety. Maybe I’ll belong. Maybe I’ll matter.
Somewhere inside me, the seed was planted: to be a healer or creator, to receive compensation for sharing your soul, means you’ve sold something sacred. Real love, real impact, real goodness… should come at a cost to you. Am I giving enough? Am I bleeding enough? Am I leaving enough of myself behind for others?
I’ve been wrestling with the impulse that urges me to prove my worth through depletion, and gently, consistently, I’ve begun stepping away. Slowly releasing the anger and embracing clarity instead. No more resentment; only reverence for the parts of myself that deserve protection.
Self-honoring means choosing slowness in a world that demands speed. It means saying no without apology. It means offering our gifts in ways that feel nourishing, not draining. It means removing ourselves from systems that treat sacred labor as disposable. It means no longer measuring our worth by output, reach, or revenue. It means trusting that rest, joy, presence, and deep care aren’t luxuries, but essentials.
Every time you honor your own worth, you mend a frayed edge in the greater tapestry. You strengthen the fabric of something more whole, more human. I’m walking that path now, mending as I go. You’re invited.
With love and respect,
(((tina d.)))
Practice
Practicing the Art of Self-Honoring
We’ve been conditioned to overextend, over-give, over-function. To see our worth as something to prove through depletion. But self-honoring begins when you stop asking, “Have I done enough?” and start asking, “Am I betraying myself in the process?”
You don’t need to give yourself away to be worthy. You already are.
Things you can do right now:
Say no to one request that doesn’t feel aligned, even if you would’ve said yes before. Let it be awkward. Let it be enough.
Put boundaries around your giving.
Ask yourself: Does this drain me, or does it feed something true?Practice receiving; without guilt and without explanation.
Let someone help you, support you, or pay you well for what you offer.Rest before you’re running on fumes.
Protect your energy like it’s sacred… because it is.Your worth is not up for debate.
Not by systems. Not by strangers. Not even by your own inner critic.
In a culture built to exploit, self-honoring is both radical and necessary. It is the first step in building something different. Something rooted in reciprocity, in enoughness, in wholeness.
Perspective
I’ve just finished reading True and False Magic, cowritten by Phil Stutz and Elise Loehnen. It’s jam packed with so many wonderful nuggets of insight and deep wisdom. This book drives home the point that our culture is built on the illusion that success lives in the things you can quantify — bank balances, accolades, titles. However, real power lives in the present moment, in your ability to create something that matters to you, regardless of outcome or applause. The most sacred currency isn’t money, it’s meaning. And the path to meaning begins when we stop measuring and start listening to what wants to come through us. That’s where life becomes art.
Power Statement
I choose to honor what is soft and sacred. I no longer bleed to be seen. My worth lives beyond the noise: steady, whole, and already enough.
Parting Pulse
The hive I’m tending with my father is active and healthy… It’s shaping up to be a banner season for honey! 🐝