Self-Love, Self-Respect, Self-Worth: There’s a reason they all start with “Self” — You can’t find them in anyone else.
Isn’t the reason we show up on social platforms to be connected? To be visible? To be understood? To be valued?
So why does it often feel like a barrier instead of a bridge?
The thought of sharing my closest-held ideals, especially on social media, feels risky. I tend to reserve the most vulnerable parts of myself for those within my trusted, intimate circle.
I was raised in a household where attention and praise–and by extension, acceptance for who I am–were predicated on being worthy. I adopted the belief that I needed to prove myself, and that being seen meant earning it.
Broadcasting my point of view and ideologies on social media elicits a similar neverending cycle of seeking external validation and approval. It has an ick factor, like the residue of a soap scum ring left behind in the bathtub.
What resonates about an in-person or real-time exchange is that ideas live and breathe in the nuance of an intentional and considered space. Where you place a pause or how you use body language can send so many subtle cues. Conversational flow happens naturally and is based on the energy that each person contributes.
On social media, it feels unsafe to have ideas roaming freely in the wild, where they can easily become feral or deemed too radical. There’s an underlying fear that I'll be judged and rejected if I stray from cultural norms.
In evolutionary terms, it makes absolute sense. Humans have always been social creatures. We evolved to live in groups and depend on each other for survival. Being part of a tribe meant safety, food, and a sense of belonging. Being cast out of the tribe? Well, that was pretty much a death sentence.
So, in essence, we've been hardwired to seek approval and acceptance from others. But here's the thing: this deep-rooted need for belonging can manifest in unhealthy ways, especially when it comes to measuring our self-worth.
Enter the age of social media, a world where visibility and likeability are king. We post our lives online, hoping for likes, comments, and shares from friends, family, and even strangers.
We want to be enough. We want to matter.
Our self-worth ends up being dictated by an insatiable hunger to be seen and the need to prove ourselves to others as a condition for love and acceptance.
What if we treated ourselves like a good friend instead, with kindness and understanding?
As I continue to navigate the world of social media, I’m finding it helpful to focus on authenticity and vulnerability as a way to foster genuine connections. Reminding myself that it's okay to share my true self, even if that means opening up about imperfections and struggles.
Those who resonate with my message will find me. It’s safe to let go of the idea that my message needs to be watered down for everyone’s consumption. It’s actually better to stand for something that represents my values and particular perspectives. It’s allowing others to relate to me on a deeper level and create an environment where it's safe to be open and honest about my experiences.
I’ve shifted my focus to nurturing my relationships, both online and offline, and engaging in activities that bring me joy and fulfillment. I take the time to celebrate my accomplishments and practice self-compassion to maintain a strong sense of self-worth, regardless of my visibility on social media platforms.
Rather than getting caught up in the race for approval, we can use social media to uplift others, share our passions, and positively impact the world. By doing this, we not only build the courage to be more visible, but we also remain true to ourselves.
Navigating the complexities of social media can be challenging, but it’s possible to be more visible while still maintaining boundaries. By embracing authenticity, focusing on what truly matters, and aligning our online presence with our values, we can create genuine connections and protect our sense of self-worth in the age of social media.
Our worth is inherent and not dependent on the validation we receive from others; we are enough, just as we are.