The Thousand-Yard Stare
This week's post is about how we navigate uncertainty. As the world around us is changing dizzyingly fast, being present in the moment offers peace, freedom, and calm.
"Presence is a state of inner spaciousness" ~Eckhart Tolle
Something that I've been thinking about this week is how we handle uncertainty and life transitions without a clear roadmap. How open are we are to new possibilities? We are creatures of comfort and habit. This pandemic has absolutely shaken us from our comfort zones. Many of us are scared beyond measure about the future and stricken with the thousand-yard stare.
The thousand-yard stare is an expression used to describe a soldier's frozen, dissociated reaction to battle-related horrors. It's characterized by an unfocused gaze, extreme emotional detachment, and an unwillingness or inability to communicate. It's more generally used to characterize the detached, shell-shocked look of victims of trauma.
This is symptomatic of emotional flooding.
At the most basic level, emotional flooding is the body's way of protecting itself from a threatening environment. When we feel overwhelmed by our feelings, flight-or-fight mode takes over. It's hard to think rationally, let alone communicate what's happening inside. Additionally, we may experience physical sensations, such as a rapid, fluttering heartbeat with tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, a knotted stomach, nausea, anxiety, an inability to swallow, sweating, and trouble thinking clearly.
It becomes extremely difficult to access our ability to calm down our nervous system.
When feelings become overwhelming or "heavy", we often experience this as emotional flooding. Triggered by the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol, our brains literally shut down our prefrontal cortex, where logic, reason, and rationality lie. In other words, any sort of balanced response goes by the wayside. Your brain goes into protection mode.
So, what tools can we use to bypass this automatic response and regain control of our bodies and minds?
Two things: (1) Breath and (2) Identify the Emotion.
By slowing down and deepening your inhales and exhales, it creates an awareness in the part of the brain which promotes a calmer state. It also activates the parasympathetic nervous system which controls heartbeat, blood pressure, perspiration, and respiration. Breathing slowly and intentionally simply tells your brain that you are safe so your body can return to a more balanced, natural state.
Identifying the emotion behind the flooding is the second key. It can be as simple as saying "I'm really exhausted and anxious right now. I feel devastated and unable to process what's happening." This powerful acknowledgment gives you headroom, quieting your mind so that you can begin to observe those feelings. You are able to take ownership of your emotions by not letting them overwhelm you; identifying them gives you an opportunity to process what you can and can not control and find solutions for a reasonable way forward.
You are on your way to building the skills necessary to more comfortably navigate stress and conflict. By taking the time to fully appreciate the present moment and just breathe, it's a tribute to owning our emotional life.
What started out as a negative life experience has ended up a net positive for me. This pandemic has turned into an opportunity to pivot and see the possibility of a new way of being. Breathwork has become a tool to better handle all of the uncertainty going on in the world. I've been able to let go of the stranglehold I had on what I thought my life was supposed to look like. It has gifted me with a tremendous amount of clarity and presence. I've been able to reconnect with my feelings. Instead of burying them, I'm meeting them head-on. I'm able to live in the moment and make more meaningful contributions.
By no longer allowing the thousand-yard stare to rule my life, I'm more fully engaged; shifting focus on how emotions are perceived and processed. I now see a blossoming rich tapestry of new experiences, connections, and exciting opportunities in front of me.
My question to you is: How do you handle the quicksand moments of life?
