Where the Magic Happens
"To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the "what is next" of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here." ~Mark Twain
We all need the type of friend that pushes us out of our comfort zone. I’m usually that friend. The one that cajoles and sweet talks so that otherwise rational people gladly end up eating a piece of my crazy idea pie (and smiling as they do).
I love the thrill of new adventures. Taking the sort of risks that turn butterflies in your stomach into wandering albatross—the bird with the longest wingspan on Earth. It’s baked right into my DNA. All the better when I have a partner in crime. Vista wide; possibilities endless. Someone to be the Thelma to my Louise.
In my book, tackling what looks insurmountable and jumping into the unknown, arms wide open, are endearing qualities to possess. There’s a certain cache that comes with being bold.
Where you meet fear, toe-to-toe, and simply mouth the words, “Let’s tango.”
Recently, my friend Reagan has taken up roller skating. She’s all in with the deluxe skates: classic white on white - leather and laces - with Pepto Bismol wheels. For most of the summer, she’s been strapping eight rolling harbingers of bruise-making to her feet and fearlessly practicing her technique.
It was only a matter of time before she lured me in, enticing me with happy childhood memories. I’m a sucker for nostalgia. The thought of wind in my hair, no worries or agenda, just freedom, had me forking over $12 at our local rink for the privilege of donning a pair of rental skates, pungent with antifungal foot spray.
My objective: stay upright and have a little fun.
There’s a threshold to how much we can push boundaries before our brain hits the kill switch when taking on challenging activities and tasks. For starters, you must set a clear goal. Visualizing what a successful outcome looks and feels like is essential. This helps us filter out distractions and hone our concentration.
Neuroscience research has discovered that a challenge needs to be just out of reach. High, hard goals should be approached in bite-sized chunks roughly 4% outside of our known skill set. Greater demand than that, and we get overwhelmed and frustrated, any less, and we become bored.
Our bodies and minds need processing and integration time as well. Repetition is required to build strong synapse connections between neurons, which stitch together concepts, new ideas, spatial awareness, sensory recall, and fine motor skills. As our mind absorbs novel information, we build a framework of confidence as we hone our proficiency.
With social activities, the emotional component of a shared experience gets woven into our feelings of accomplishment and bonding.
When our expectations are met with a modicum of success, we get a neurochemical reward in the form of a dopamine hit. This heightens the experience and creates a drive to continue our efforts toward actualization. It also enhances our memory and helps us retain the knowledge and/or skills we’ve learned.
At the skating rink, I had to let go of the idea that I needed to appear skilled right out of the gate. I decided to embrace failure (and falling), staying fully immersed in the learning curve and pushing just beyond my comfort zone. I focused on putting one wobbly wheeled foot in front of the next, Reagan cheering me on. And to my surprise, I didn’t need to be peeled off the floor. In fact, the only pain came from smiling so much that my cheeks ached.
What high, hard goals are on your bucket list?