“There are pruning seasons in life and there are growing seasons. When I look back on my life, I can tell the greatest growth comes right after you get cut back.” ~Donald Miller, Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy
Listening to: SUPERBLOOM by MisterWives
I love my plants and flowers like most people love their kids. I believe in their sentience and deeply feel the reciprocal nature of our relationship; they’re a part of my daily practice of being present for the ordinary moments in life.
They whisper directly to my heart, “Plant your intentions in our fertile soil - leave your worries, and we’ll help you grow a new perspective.”
I’ve just returned from a multi-day trip to Joshua Tree for breathwork training. My husband offered to care for my green-thumb progeny while I was gone. I nervously agreed as the last time I left for an extended time, he failed to water them. I got a shrug and a half-hearted apology. His view of them is one of annoyance; it’s one more thing to take care of in a day, and they're replaceable if tending to them gets missed.
This time, I thought I’d been meticulous with instructions to my husband for taking care of my plants. I assumed that he’d know that they’d require watering and deadheading. The petunias, in particular, need to have their expired flowers plucked daily. In my mind, this is a given.
Lesson learned: Never make assumptions.
I returned to spindly, suffering plants. And another indifferent shrug from my husband. In his eyes, there was no problem. He’d watered them; what more did I want?
When you deadhead, it lets the plant stop expending energy on caring for parts of itself that are done blooming and withered away. The plant can focus on feeding the new growth by removing the shriveled flower heads and browned leaves. Deadheading also keeps away insects and animals that feed on decaying plant matter.
It helps the plant flourish and remain lush. Isn’t that a beautiful analogy for our own lives?
When we make the time to remove residual emotional decay through intentional practices, we make room for expansion.
Breath, movement, and reflection time are necessary for exploring the deeper parts of your subconscious to get in touch with what needs to be cleared.
There’s freedom in pruning the dead branches of our old narratives. As we deadhead the “internal spent flowers,” our heart and mind gain the spaciousness required for new growth and building stronger relationships.
Here are three simple practices for nurturing your internal garden. Each can be done in under five minutes, allowing you to integrate them easily into your daily routine.
Breath Practice: The Four-Seven-Eight Breathing Exercise
Begin by exhaling completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound. Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight. This is one breath. Repeat this cycle three more times for a total of four breaths. This practice helps reduce stress and anxiety and encourages a peaceful mind.
Somatic Practice: Grounding Exercise
Find a quiet and comfortable space to stand, preferably outside and barefoot. Plant your feet shoulder-width apart, and close your eyes. Feel the solid earth beneath your feet and imagine roots growing from your soles, anchoring you to the ground. Let your hands hang loosely by your side, and roll your shoulders back, opening up your chest. Feel the strength of your own body, and acknowledge the connection between the physical sensations you experience and your emotional state. This practice fosters a sense of stability, balance, and a deepened connection to your body.
Mental Practice: Quick Reflection
Grab a notebook and a pen, and set a timer for five minutes. During this time, write down any thoughts, feelings, or worries that come to mind. Don’t censor yourself - let the words flow freely. Think of this practice like deadheading - you’re allowing space for the unnecessary to be released, creating room for the new. As you look back at your entries over time, you may begin to notice patterns, identifying the dead leaves in your mental garden that need pruning.
By making these daily practices a part of your routine, you learn to care for yourself like a treasured plant. You're giving your being room to flourish, to grow, and to develop a richer, more aligned life.
Tend to the garden of your soul, nurture yourself from the roots up, and create a life that resonates deeply with who you truly are.
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Leave me a comment👇🏻
I love the comparison between deadheading plants and "deadheading" our internal world. The simple activities you mentioned such as breathing exercises, journaling, and grounding, can have a huge impact. One thing I like to do to "deadhead" my own internal world is being out in nature and touching the ground/a tree. It feels like everything that overwhelms me flows straight out and is taken care of by the earth 💚